Perhaps it was a bit too early. I wasn't really ready for a new dog yet. But sometimes things just happen. Things that you don't question, you just know this is how it is supposed to go.
Scout came home with me on Valentine's Day "for the weekend". I had a few days off and rather than have her stay at the clinic all that time, I thought she could just as well be at home with me. In the back of my mind I knew she would not be returning to the clinic. My heart, on the other hand, kept saying "I'm not ready!"
Scout had been brought to the clinic by her previous owners. They felt they were just too busy for her. Jobs, the wife being in school and having 3 children just did not leave enough time to devote to Scout and the care that certain health issues require. Scout has food allergies and chronic ear problems that can frequently require on-going medical attention. They had originally thought that if the ear problem could just be brought under control, maybe they could manage it from there. Later that morning they decided upon euthanasia. Fortunately, Dr. Nick thought otherwise and told the owners that if they were willing to surrender Scout to us at the clinic, we would deal with the ear issue and find her a good home. So, that's what happened.
Scout has been with me for one week now and every day I discover something new that she knows how to do or a new command or word that she understands. She looks at me like I'm the greatest thing in the world. She has beautiful soft brown eyes that are just asking me to love her back. She is very well behaved, is good with the cats and so far has no bad habits that I know of. She eats her prescription food, doesn't beg, lets me know when she has to go out and is very tolerant of me messing with her ears. She had surgery on her right ear and it is healing very nicely. She has adjusted well to her new surroundings.
I, on the other hand, am having a hard time dealing with the feeling that I'm cheating on Abby. It's like my heart is saying ,"But I still love Abby and I miss her so much. I'm still broken." In my head I know I can love them both. If I love Scout, that doesn't mean that I can't still love Abby. I guess the heart takes longer to mend.
But, I believe that's why Scout was put in my life. That's why she was brought to the clinic that day. She is helping my broken heart mend. We will be doing many things together, things that Abby could not have done in her later years. Scout has a new life jacket so she can go kayaking with me. She has a new back pack so when we go hiking she can carry her own water and snacks. Perhaps we both needed each other. She needed someone with more time to spend with her and I needed someone to help me get over the loss of Abby.
Abby used to lay beside me on the bed and put her front leg straight up in the air. That meant she wanted me to run my fingers up and down her leg. That would put her to sleep. The other night Scout was laying on the bed and all of a sudden she put her front leg up in the air. Now, I don't know, maybe that's a common thing that dogs do. I saw it as a sign from Abby. Maybe Abby told Scout that if she put her leg up in the air I would rub it.
And so, Scout and I soldier on in our new relationship, growing closer day by day. I know we will have many wonderful years together. Hopefully we'll receive a sign from Abby now and then just to let us know that it's okay for Scout to be here. I love you Abby. I will love you Scout.
